The life and times of a thirtysomething suburban mom.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Can someone please tell me when life will slow down? Just when I thought we were getting a week off something else has to happen...my son broke his finger on the trampoline when he and his sister ran into each other. A finger, not the end of the world, right? Wrong! Of course, it had to be a dislocated compound fracture. We are going have it reset(I think they call it) tomorrow, along with some pins for good measure. It just so happens my son's only sport is track and field( not until the spring) safe...but...he has been playing piano for five years and recently picked up guitar. I may have mentioned that his new dream is start a band. I feel so bad for him. I cried when my husband called from the emergency room to tell me he would have to have surgery. This isn't his first trip to the emergency room. It isn't even his first broken bone. No, that happened when he was 18 months and he broke his leg. My son doesn't get the normal ear infections of childhood, he gets the kind where the eardrum busts and is bleeding on a Saturday evening or when we are on spring break in another state. I know there are many other horrible things that can happen to children, but I have to tell you I am already getting scared about the teenage years. He is smart and level headed, but one time is all it takes. He is already picking out his car and he is only eleven. Well, one battle at a time. I have to think positive and he will be back to his music playing in no time.

Julie Pippert, theartfulflower.blogspot.com, aptly calls her eldest child " Patience". I think that might be my new name for my eldest. That was definitely me growing up. I wanted to be older so bad...I wanted everything now. Patience has been one of the biggest virtues I have learned about in my life. I learn more everyday. As I went over the budget today I had to take a breath and remember it will all work out. We will be okay. We are doing what feels right to us.
One other virtue my husband and I were talking about recently is forgiveness. This is a very important and relevant virtue in my life, also. My children help me everyday, but as an adult life can be a bit more serious. I am working on this one and will talk more soon and on acceptance and forgiveness. I am working on an article for an online magazine about this subject and would love to hear any one's thoughts on the subject.

Just breathe:)

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Sex, Religion, Children, Cancer

I just don't know how everyone does it!? I mean, in the blogging community everyone seems to be able to keep up with posting, commenting, etc... and their outside lives , too. I can't seem to be able to get on the computer longer than fifteen minutes before I am interrupted. I am really starting to become cranky from it. I am having blogging withdrawals. I am a much happier person when I can write and socialize with other bloggers. Hey, real people are good, too. But sometimes not as good.

Things have been pretty crazy lately. First, my mother's mass in her breast is cancer. She had it removed last week and is doing much better. She has to start radiation treatment as soon as she is better. She is in very good spirits and has an incredibly awesome attitude. I am so proud of her and so scared at the same time. The doctors are very optimistic about her recovery and her chances of remission. They have caught this very early. Thank God!

Work has been pretty good. I am not working with the evil queen this year and I have such a better attitude towards my job. The children are very sweet, but the parents are usually the one's who drive me crazy. I work at a private Catholic School and one of the little girl's in my class is Muslim. No big deal, we are a mostly academics but we do pray a few times a day( meals, morning prayer) and we have a bible lesson once a week for 20minutes. Pretty easy going compared to some Christian schools I think. Especially the one I worked at that condemned Mother Theresa. Anyway, the little girls mother would like us to take her out of the room anytime we pray and of course during the bible lesson. Look, I am all for freedom of religion, but I am not sure why she is sending her to this school. Her daughter is very offended every time Jesus is mentioned. We are definitely not a really cheap school and there are lots of secular schools in the area. I do think we have a really good program, though. I guess, if I was that worried about a school's religious influence on my child I would not be sending them to one I disagree so strongly with. Okay, that is my rant on that.

Now, on to pre teen angst. Wow, I am so desperately trying to relate to my son. He is absolutely girl crazy. He is fairly shy, but seems to have no shortage of girls to choose from and no shortage of questions about the opposite sex. He talked my ear off for an hour and a half last night about middle school stuff. His latest dilemma is his best friends crush seems to have the hots for him. Oh, what tangled webs we weave. He does seem to have a very level head on his shoulders and is very realistic about life. I know I was not that mature at his age. I am so proud of him. Sometimes I look at him and can not believe he is the same little boy who used to break the other kids toys because they took it from him. I worry, too. Life can be hard at his age. You stress about everything. Everything matters to you. He takes life very seriously. This is good and bad. I have the same problem. Even though he is a boy, we have similar personalities. My husband was much more outgoing in school. My son doesn't seem to have any problems making friends, he is just terribly insecure about himself. I know that comes with the territory, but I don't know if I have ever gotten better, myself. I know I will never stop worrying about my kids. I am very glad my son talks to me and I hope it will always continue. His mood swings could send my to therapy, but hopefully mine haven't ruined him yet!

My husband and I celebrated our 14th anniversary a couple of weeks ago. We actually went out of town with another couple we have known for a very long time. It was a lot of fun. They are celebrating their 15th anniversary next month. We were noting that half of both our wedding parties are divorced. That is sad. Some are happily remarried and others have disappeared. I know the statistic says half, but it is still sad when it happens. My marriage has had its' rocky moments but for heaven's sake you have to work at it. I have probably hated my husband at one time or another in our marriage. He is not always the most sympathetic of men. But, I am not easy to live with either. I am a self professed slob(even though I hate it) I don't know many people who are less organized and once a month just don't piss me off. Which is much easier said than done. And my husband not only lives with these things about me but appreciates them. I don't nag as much about pitching in, I don't care that he has not one but two unfinished classic cars in our garage, and at least once a month for about a week I always get my way. Some people call me a push over but I call it compromise. Just like people who seem perfect on the outside have skeletons in their closets some couples who have imperfections have ways off dealing with the chaos. We have a pretty good rhythm going right now, but marriage takes work. A lot of fucking work. When you live with someone day in and day out they are bound to get on your nerves. You are two different people and you are not always going to agree. Add in money, kids, in laws, etc...and you better be in it for the long haul. I know there are extenuating circumstances, but like I my husband says, he can't afford to divorce me. And like I tell my husband, I would rather be a widow. My husband and I are in need of a date about 3 or 4 times a month. And sex, well, that is a little personal, but you have to have it! For most men, it is never enough, but girls, have fun. You miss out on sleep for your babies, you can miss out for some fun with your honey. My point being, my man is worth it and so am I.
Well, I am feeling a little better and I have only been interrupted 4 times. Next time I with tackle the rock band my son is starting and whether paying your child for a clean drug test every month is ethical? Peace & Love!!!!!