My Middle Is Gone

This has been a very busy and exciting week. My oldest daughter, who is my middle child, started kindergarten on Monday. Yes, we start very early down here. My son started sixth grade. That is still elementary school here. Although, he doesn't act like it.Of course, true to her nature she barely batted an eye when I dropped her off on Monday morning. I was about to cry if it weren't for all the parents huddled around the kindergarten wing together. We are a cute bunch. I am much calmer this time around. When my son began kindergarten I was 81/2 months pregnant with his sister and getting notes home and phone calls by the second week of school. Not to mention this was September 2001, so life was slightly crazy and scary anyway. I feel a better sense of calm while she is at school. I know this school. It is right behind me. I lived up there for the past six years. She did get the only new teacher in kindergarten and my son had all the others at some time or other. I was a little disappointed, but I know we can handle this. She comes home everyday and gives me a full report on the days event. My son still only gives one word answers unless it is bedtime. He had to even ask her to stop talking the first day because he wanted to tell me something. They are so cute walking into school together. He is already 5'6" and she is barely 4ft. I know this is what we parents work for but, preparing our children for leaving the nest, but I was secretly glad I still had little 3 to stay home with. She is watching Caulliou and running around in her Dora underwear. We have just recently become potty trained, by my standards. We will have to tackle preschool in a couple of weeks, but she will only be down the hall from me. I am not ready for all three to be gone all day, yet. I know this will come soon and by 5pm I am ready to throw them outside, smog alert or not. I am just trying to cherish every moment and do the best I can. Some people are worried about this teacher or that, going to middle school, testing etc...I am trying to be active, but I am learning to say no, too. I also try to do my homework when it comes to curriculum but not one system I've looked into is perfect. Our little niche has a small school, only 565 students in six grades, by most standards. There are varying levels of economic situations , especially when you get to middle and high school, but I love our area and the home we have built together as a family. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I believe it is important to put down roots somewhere, if you can. Somewhere your family can truly call home. I am so glad I get the opportunity to know one place where my children can thrive and I can too. School has a large place in children's lives so we better make it count.
I had big plans after school started to workout and work more on my writing but other things have come into play. Like, sleep and laundry. This will be okay. I am learning to adjust and be happy where my life is now. My heart has sank to where my middle used to be and I am not sure I want it back the other way.

Weekends are for enlightenment

The good news is the children go back to school in a week and the bad news is the children go back to school in a week. My middle child will start kindergarten this year and it is also a crossroads for me. Another dilemma for me is I will start back teaching at my school in a couple weeks. No more free schedule and sleeping in until 8am. My writing is going to take a serious dive. I will be working one less day this year, so I am thrilled about this, but at the same time I won't be able to blog and work on my story inventions ( as I call them ). I try to look on the bright side...I am able to work part time and see my children as soon as they get out of school. I don't have to work , I need to work. Probably more then I am, but I am trying to strike this balance. I know I can't have it all, at least not all at once. My plan is to get this damned writing thing off the ground so by the time my youngest starts elementary school I can do this writing thing full time at home. Oh, I have dreams.
Over the weekend I kept reminding myself the children go back to school soon. Especially at the grocery store. You know how it is, you run in to grab the basics so your family won't starve or die of food poisoning, and then someone inevitably gets hurt, screams like a banshee so everyone stares at you( I am so over this ) you grab the closet bottle of wine to the checkout counter, pay twice as much as you expected ( bribes, things thrown in when not looking, mamma's little helpers etc...) and get the hell out of there. The Home Depot trip on Sunday wasn't much better. I knew when they were perfect angels at the Pancake House ( no food was thrown and the two year old didn't wet her pants) that it was too good to be true. At least this time, the hubby was present.
But I am going to miss my miracle baby when she goes off to kindergarten and little two turns three on Friday. ( Trying to plan some kind event ) My son got braces last week and time is moving too fast. I am in such conflict about this whole working/staying home thing. Time with the kids, time with my husband, time with myself. I know all of us moms go through this. I am just wondering will I ever get into a groove that works for me. Some days I think money will solve all these troubles, but I know that isn't necessarily true. People say money isn't everything, but it sure doesn't hurt. I have also read it is the number one cause of divorce. But those Hollywood couples have plenty of dough and they don't seem to have such good luck.
My husband and I are trying to be turtles. Go at a slow and steady pace. I know it will pay off. Thank God a girl has her friends to talk to about this stuff.
Off to make muffins in the easy bake oven. ( not the one that burns you) After all, she won't be my baby forever.