I Hate PMS, Periods, and Potty Training

And not in that particular order! I am just having one of those days where I wish everyone would just go away and I could watch recorded episodes of GH and cheesy horror flicks. I don't feel like cooking, playing pretend, or staying sober. I resorted to chocolate for my daughter's potty training reward and I know chocolate would make me feel better, but I still haven't lost the twenty pounds I've needed to loose since she was born. My hubby knows better and took the older one out to a friends house so it is just me and all the estrogen. Wow, he has gotten smart. My oldest daughter, who we politely call " thing 1 ", has been acting like her hormones are all out of whack. She starts kindergarten in two weeks. I love her, but we need to put all that drama to good use and get a college fund started. She can be sooooo.......draining. And the f' ing potty training thing. WTF.... I mean the other two weren't easy but, let's face it, they pretty much potty trained themselves. This one, well, ( we call her, you guessed it, " thing 2") , just is taking her leisurely time. She could conceivably go to kindergarten in pull ups. I know the third child is suppose to be laid back, but come on. She practically lives in the bathroom with me. She is constantly finding mamma's little
" private items " and strewing them all over the house. It can be really embarrassing. I guess I figured if she was spending this much time following me around she would have figured the whole thing out by now. But maybe she just wants the chocolate? I haven't actually explained how the preschool teachers don't give out rewards for going potty. It's Always the potty... I feel like I live their, especially this time of the month. Can we say, " super plus, please"!? What is up with that. I think I miss the days of being on the pill. At least I felt like I had control of some aspects of being a woman. If I get anymore bloated and bitchy my husband may just take up residence in the treehouse.
I know not everyone wanted to hear about my " time of the month", but tough shit. I mean I feel better and that's what counts, right. The only good thing that happened today is Harry Potter came out. I bought one of the last copies at my grocery store. I felt lucky on some level. I was definitely a hero in my son's eyes, so I feel pretty cool. He gets to read it first , but if he gives me any hints, his not so little preteen self will be grounded for life. It's all I can do these days, or show movies of him with his toenails painted pink from when he was four.
I am hoping within the next week I will be back to normal and halfway through Harry Potter. At least I have something to look forward to. Hey, don't make fun, I am not a complete geek, remember I am a Gemini.
The Merlot is wearing off and thing 1 and 2 are stealing my chocolate and fighting over it. Thank Goodness it is almost bedtime my voice is getting rough from yelling. Oh am I in for it when the rest of their hormones kick in.
Have a drink on me!!